NBA: So Derrick Rose Went Insane

So Derrick Rose went insane.

Media Outlets have been reporting all day that newly-minted Knicks point guard and general insane person, Derrick Rose, is comparing New York to superteams like Golden State.

“I mean, with those teams right now, they’re saying us and Golden State are the superteams, and they’re trying not to build that many superteams, and Adam Silver came out with the statement and this and that.”

This is true in the same way that Kanye and my sister are both “a little chill.” Because comparing a team whose brightest point is Kristaps Porzingis to a 73-win team + Durant is a sensible move. The 15-16 Warriors might have been the greatest team of all time if Curry hadn’t been injured and they had the luxury of larger sample sizes. The Knicks might rival them if they took a time machine back 5 years ago.

I don’t mind athletic bravado, but at least try to back it up. Last year, Rose reached fresh nadirs in defensive effort, even accounting for his orbital bone fracture. He managed an incredible RPM ranking of 422 out of 472 possible players behind such luminaries as Johnny O’Bryant and Rashad Vaughn. Subway turnstiles have offered more resistance.

As a way to say goodbye, I’ve ranked a few choice Derrick Rose quotes from “slightly tone-deaf” to “Bruce Willis was dead???”:

3. On looking forward to 2017 free agency after missing 211 regular season games over 4 seasons and signing 2 contracts worth a combined $280 million:

“Even though we’re all right, we’re comfortable, when you talk about that x-amount of dollars, I think it raises everyone’s eyebrows, so there’s nothing wrong with being over-prepared.”

2. On missing games to avoid future soreness:

“When I sit out it’s not because of this year. I’m thinking about long term. I’m thinking about after I’m done with basketball.”

1. On executing pick and roll coverage:

“What’s a pick?”

Okay, I made one of those up.

 

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